Learn to Put Yourself First
Like the majority of the country,A mother strolling her baby, I was raised to put others first. Growing up it was considered good manners to put others feelings into consideration before acting on your own. It was considered selfish to put yourself first. Over the years, I have come to learn that this is not 100% correct. While you need to take others' feelings and concerns into consideration, if you do not take care of yourselves it could have a negative effect. You cannot take care of others until you take care of yourself. There is a thin line between being selfish and making your wants and dreams a priority. If all you think about is yourself, then this may be considered selfish,When you find the joy of service and align yourself with a motivation to contribute. On the contrary doing the little things in life that will help you reach your goals is not.
When an individual does not put themselves first or makes their goals a priority they are not being the best that they can be. If they are not being the best that they can be, then their contribution to others will be diminished. Here are some straightforward tips to follow in order to put yourself first:
1. Make time in your day for regular exercise. This can mean a trip to the gym or a walk around the block.
2. Make sure you get an adequate amount of sleep. The lack of sleep will make you feel short tempered, edgy, fidgety and can have a negative effect on your overall health.
3. Make time in your day to eat at least three nutritious meals,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. These are not meals on the go. You will want to sit down and take time to focus on the food you are eating.
4. Make time in your schedule to plan get-together with family and friends. These are get-togethers that do not involve a large production. It may be as easy as meeting your girlfriends for a cup of tea.
5. You will want to identify those negative tasked and behaviors that take up a lot of time and energy and are not productive. Once you identify what these are, you will want to remove or minimize your involvement.
6. Learn to say "No". It is okay to say "no". The world will not come to an end if you say "no", or would you be hurting somebody's feelings by saying "no". When you put yourself first, you will reserve your "yes" for items that are important or having meaning to you,Your passion directs you to your calling.. This will also increase the value of any "yes" decision you make.
7. Do not take on all the problems in the world. You cannot solve or help everybody. You need to understand when you can and you cannot offer your services.
When you put yourself first, you are not committing a selfish act. It is an act that will help you achieve your goals with a healthy frame of mind. You will be the best person you can be, and will ensure that you are available to help others become the best they can be.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
which is
Traumas as Social Interactions
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").
We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.
It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the traumatizing events - society demonstrates a diametrically opposed progression. This incompatibility, this mismatch of psychological phases is what leads to the formation and crystallization of trauma.
PHASE I
Victim phase I - DENIAL
The magnitude of such unfortunate events is often so overwhelming, their nature so alien, and their message so menacing - that denial sets in as a defence mechanism aimed at self preservation. The victim denies that the event occurred,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, that he or she is being abused, that a loved one passed away.
Society phase I - ACCEPTANCE, MOVING ON.
The victim's nearest ("Society") - his colleagues, his employees, his clients, even his spouse, children, and friends - rarely experience the events with the same shattering intensity. They are likely to accept the bad news and move on. Even at their most considerate and empathic, they are likely to lose patience with the victim's state of mind. They tend to ignore the victim, or chastise him, to mock, or to deride his feelings or behaviour, to collude to repress the painful memories, or to trivialize them.
SUMMARY PHASE I
The mismatch between the victim's reactive patterns and emotional needs and society's matter-of-fact attitude hinders growth and healing. The victim requires society's help in avoiding a head-on confrontation with a reality he cannot digest. Instead, society serves as a constant and mentally destabilizing reminder of the root of the victim's unbearable agony (the Job syndrome).
PHASE II
Victim phase II - HELPLESSNESS
Denial gradually gives way to a sense of all-pervasive and humiliating helplessness, often accompanied by debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. These are among the classic symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). These are the bitter results of the internalization and integration of the harsh realization that there is nothing one can do to alter the outcomes of a natural, or man-made, catastrophe. The horror in confronting one's finiteness, meaninglessness, negligibility, and powerlessness - is overpowering.
Society phase II - DEPRESSION
The more the members of society come to grips with the magnitude of the loss, or evil, or threat represented by the grief inducing events - the sadder they become. Depression is often little more than suppressed or self-directed anger. The anger, in this case, is belatedly induced by an identified or diffuse source of threat, or of evil, or loss. It is a higher level variant of the "fight or flight" reaction, tampered by the rational understanding that the "source" is often too abstract to tackle directly.
SUMMARY PHASE II
Thus, when the victim is most in need, terrified by his helplessness and adrift - society is immersed in depression and unable to provide a holding and supporting environment. Growth and healing is again retarded by social interaction. The victim's innate sense of annulment is enhanced by the self-addressed anger (=depression) of those around him.
PHASE III
Both the victim and society react with RAGE to their predicaments. In an effort to narcissistically reassert himself, the victim develops a grandiose sense of anger directed at paranoidally selected, unreal, diffuse, and abstract targets (=frustration sources). By expressing aggression, the victim re-acquires mastery of the world and of himself.
Members of society use rage to re-direct the root cause of their depression (which is, as we said, self directed anger) and to channel it safely. To ensure that this expressed aggression alleviates their depression - real targets must are selected and real punishments meted out. In this respect, "social rage" differs from the victim's. The former is intended to sublimate aggression and channel it in a socially acceptable manner - the latter to reassert narcissistic self-love as an antidote to an all-devouring sense of helplessness.
In other words, society, by itself being in a state of rage, positively enforces the narcissistic rage reactions of the grieving victim. This, in the long run, is counter-productive, inhibits personal growth, and prevents healing. It also erodes the reality test of the victim and encourages self-delusions, paranoidal ideation, and ideas of reference.
PHASE IV
Victim Phase IV - DEPRESSION
As the consequences of narcissistic rage - both social and personal - grow more unacceptable, depression sets in. The victim internalizes his aggressive impulses. Self directed rage is safer but is the cause of great sadness and even suicidal ideation,It takes courage to act. What's courage. The victim's depression is a way of conforming to social norms. It is also instrumental in ridding the victim of the unhealthy residues of narcissistic regression,Tip # 2 Eat your Breakfast. It is when the victim acknowledges the malignancy of his rage (and its anti-social nature) that he adopts a depressive stance.
Society Phase IV - HELPLESSNESS
People around the victim ("society") also emerge from their phase of rage transformed. As they realize the futility of their rage, they feel more and more helpless and devoid of options. They grasp their limitations and the irrelevance of their good intentions. They accept the inevitability of loss and evil and Kafkaesquely agree to live under an ominous cloud of arbitrary judgement, meted out by impersonal powers.
SUMMARY PHASE IV
Again, the members of society are unable to help the victim to emerge from a self-destructive phase. His depression is enhanced by their apparent helplessness. Their introversion and inefficacy induce in the victim a feeling of nightmarish isolation and alienation. Healing and growth are once again retarded or even inhibited.
PHASE V
Victim Phase V - ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON
Depression - if pathologically protracted and in conjunction with other mental health problems - sometimes leads to suicide. But more often, it allows the victim to process mentally hurtful and potentially harmful material and paves the way to acceptance. Depression is a laboratory of the psyche. Withdrawal from social pressures enables the direct transformation of anger into other emotions, some of them otherwise socially unacceptable. The honest encounter between the victim and his own (possible) death often becomes a cathartic and self-empowering inner dynamic. The victim emerges ready to move on.
Society Phase V - DENIAL
Society, on the other hand, having exhausted its reactive arsenal - resorts to denial. As memories fade and as the victim recovers and abandons his obsessive-compulsive dwelling on his pain - society feels morally justified to forget and forgive. This mood of historical revisionism, of moral leniency, of effusive forgiveness, of re-interpretation, and of a refusal to remember in detail - leads to a repression and denial of the painful events by society.
SUMMARY PHASE V
This final mismatch between the victim's emotional needs and society's reactions is less damaging to the victim. He is now more resilient, stronger, more flexible, and more willing to forgive and forget. Society's denial is really a denial of the victim. But, having ridden himself of more primitive narcissistic defences - the victim can do without society's acceptance,in this case it may not be necessary. Everyone knows what the situation is., approval, or look. Having endured the purgatory of grieving, he has now re-acquired his self, independent of society's acknowledgement.
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").
We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.
It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the traumatizing events - society demonstrates a diametrically opposed progression. This incompatibility, this mismatch of psychological phases is what leads to the formation and crystallization of trauma.
PHASE I
Victim phase I - DENIAL
The magnitude of such unfortunate events is often so overwhelming, their nature so alien, and their message so menacing - that denial sets in as a defence mechanism aimed at self preservation. The victim denies that the event occurred,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, that he or she is being abused, that a loved one passed away.
Society phase I - ACCEPTANCE, MOVING ON.
The victim's nearest ("Society") - his colleagues, his employees, his clients, even his spouse, children, and friends - rarely experience the events with the same shattering intensity. They are likely to accept the bad news and move on. Even at their most considerate and empathic, they are likely to lose patience with the victim's state of mind. They tend to ignore the victim, or chastise him, to mock, or to deride his feelings or behaviour, to collude to repress the painful memories, or to trivialize them.
SUMMARY PHASE I
The mismatch between the victim's reactive patterns and emotional needs and society's matter-of-fact attitude hinders growth and healing. The victim requires society's help in avoiding a head-on confrontation with a reality he cannot digest. Instead, society serves as a constant and mentally destabilizing reminder of the root of the victim's unbearable agony (the Job syndrome).
PHASE II
Victim phase II - HELPLESSNESS
Denial gradually gives way to a sense of all-pervasive and humiliating helplessness, often accompanied by debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. These are among the classic symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). These are the bitter results of the internalization and integration of the harsh realization that there is nothing one can do to alter the outcomes of a natural, or man-made, catastrophe. The horror in confronting one's finiteness, meaninglessness, negligibility, and powerlessness - is overpowering.
Society phase II - DEPRESSION
The more the members of society come to grips with the magnitude of the loss, or evil, or threat represented by the grief inducing events - the sadder they become. Depression is often little more than suppressed or self-directed anger. The anger, in this case, is belatedly induced by an identified or diffuse source of threat, or of evil, or loss. It is a higher level variant of the "fight or flight" reaction, tampered by the rational understanding that the "source" is often too abstract to tackle directly.
SUMMARY PHASE II
Thus, when the victim is most in need, terrified by his helplessness and adrift - society is immersed in depression and unable to provide a holding and supporting environment. Growth and healing is again retarded by social interaction. The victim's innate sense of annulment is enhanced by the self-addressed anger (=depression) of those around him.
PHASE III
Both the victim and society react with RAGE to their predicaments. In an effort to narcissistically reassert himself, the victim develops a grandiose sense of anger directed at paranoidally selected, unreal, diffuse, and abstract targets (=frustration sources). By expressing aggression, the victim re-acquires mastery of the world and of himself.
Members of society use rage to re-direct the root cause of their depression (which is, as we said, self directed anger) and to channel it safely. To ensure that this expressed aggression alleviates their depression - real targets must are selected and real punishments meted out. In this respect, "social rage" differs from the victim's. The former is intended to sublimate aggression and channel it in a socially acceptable manner - the latter to reassert narcissistic self-love as an antidote to an all-devouring sense of helplessness.
In other words, society, by itself being in a state of rage, positively enforces the narcissistic rage reactions of the grieving victim. This, in the long run, is counter-productive, inhibits personal growth, and prevents healing. It also erodes the reality test of the victim and encourages self-delusions, paranoidal ideation, and ideas of reference.
PHASE IV
Victim Phase IV - DEPRESSION
As the consequences of narcissistic rage - both social and personal - grow more unacceptable, depression sets in. The victim internalizes his aggressive impulses. Self directed rage is safer but is the cause of great sadness and even suicidal ideation,It takes courage to act. What's courage. The victim's depression is a way of conforming to social norms. It is also instrumental in ridding the victim of the unhealthy residues of narcissistic regression,Tip # 2 Eat your Breakfast. It is when the victim acknowledges the malignancy of his rage (and its anti-social nature) that he adopts a depressive stance.
Society Phase IV - HELPLESSNESS
People around the victim ("society") also emerge from their phase of rage transformed. As they realize the futility of their rage, they feel more and more helpless and devoid of options. They grasp their limitations and the irrelevance of their good intentions. They accept the inevitability of loss and evil and Kafkaesquely agree to live under an ominous cloud of arbitrary judgement, meted out by impersonal powers.
SUMMARY PHASE IV
Again, the members of society are unable to help the victim to emerge from a self-destructive phase. His depression is enhanced by their apparent helplessness. Their introversion and inefficacy induce in the victim a feeling of nightmarish isolation and alienation. Healing and growth are once again retarded or even inhibited.
PHASE V
Victim Phase V - ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON
Depression - if pathologically protracted and in conjunction with other mental health problems - sometimes leads to suicide. But more often, it allows the victim to process mentally hurtful and potentially harmful material and paves the way to acceptance. Depression is a laboratory of the psyche. Withdrawal from social pressures enables the direct transformation of anger into other emotions, some of them otherwise socially unacceptable. The honest encounter between the victim and his own (possible) death often becomes a cathartic and self-empowering inner dynamic. The victim emerges ready to move on.
Society Phase V - DENIAL
Society, on the other hand, having exhausted its reactive arsenal - resorts to denial. As memories fade and as the victim recovers and abandons his obsessive-compulsive dwelling on his pain - society feels morally justified to forget and forgive. This mood of historical revisionism, of moral leniency, of effusive forgiveness, of re-interpretation, and of a refusal to remember in detail - leads to a repression and denial of the painful events by society.
SUMMARY PHASE V
This final mismatch between the victim's emotional needs and society's reactions is less damaging to the victim. He is now more resilient, stronger, more flexible, and more willing to forgive and forget. Society's denial is really a denial of the victim. But, having ridden himself of more primitive narcissistic defences - the victim can do without society's acceptance,in this case it may not be necessary. Everyone knows what the situation is., approval, or look. Having endured the purgatory of grieving, he has now re-acquired his self, independent of society's acknowledgement.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Bouncing Back After Setback And Disappointment by Andrea Waggener
Bouncing Back After Setback And Disappointment by Andrea Waggener
Bouncing back after you have a setback or after a major disappointment starts with acceptance. You need to be able to accept where you are right now. In order for a ball to bounce,What is it that you want to feel, it needs something to bounce out of, right? So do you. If you want to start bouncing back after a setback or failure, you need to put your feet solidly on the ground of reality.
A natural reaction to setback and disappointment is denial. Escape is common reaction too.
One of my favorite ways to avoid accepting failures is to binge eat. When I'm hiding in a box of cookies (not literally, of course), it may feel good in the moment, but I always feel worse later. Many people hide in drugs, alcohol,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, shopping, gambling, and many other forms of addiction or self destructive behavior. Unfortunately, none of these actions will help you bounce back.
You must be willing to accept the mess you're in. If you want to whine about it while you're accepting it, that's fine. Whine. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Do whatever helps you really feel and accept the pain of what you've lost. Once you've faced the mess, you're ready to start bouncing back from it.
The next step in bouncing back is developing optimism. You can't go from what you don't want to what you want if you don't believe that you can. Optimism is the fuel that will get you moving to make a change in your life.
Of course, it's tough to be optimistic when you've failed yet again. When the setbacks and disappointments pile up, it can feel like optimism is an idiotic state that only the totally clueless can be in,At least two hours.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to be optimistic when you're starting over AGAIN. As an author who has racked up over 2000 rejection letters in the last couple decades, I've experienced many times when I thought optimism was totally impossible.
So how did I find optimism again so I could bounce back and try again,So what does it take to overcome these fears?
I learned to find faith.
"Keep the faith," is often used to encourage people to stay committed to a religion or spiritual practice. But that's not the way I'm using the words faith and keep the faith.
To keep the faith when you're starting over means to remember a very important fact about life: the past does not predict the future. Just because something bad happened in the past, just because you failed the last 100 or 1000 times you tried something doesn't mean you'll fail again. If you remember this, you can find faith that something good can still come your way even after you've experienced a whole bunch of bad.
When you apply optimism and faith to your life, after you accept your situation, you have done what you need to do so you can start bouncing back.
Bouncing back after you have a setback or after a major disappointment starts with acceptance. You need to be able to accept where you are right now. In order for a ball to bounce,What is it that you want to feel, it needs something to bounce out of, right? So do you. If you want to start bouncing back after a setback or failure, you need to put your feet solidly on the ground of reality.
A natural reaction to setback and disappointment is denial. Escape is common reaction too.
One of my favorite ways to avoid accepting failures is to binge eat. When I'm hiding in a box of cookies (not literally, of course), it may feel good in the moment, but I always feel worse later. Many people hide in drugs, alcohol,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, shopping, gambling, and many other forms of addiction or self destructive behavior. Unfortunately, none of these actions will help you bounce back.
You must be willing to accept the mess you're in. If you want to whine about it while you're accepting it, that's fine. Whine. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Do whatever helps you really feel and accept the pain of what you've lost. Once you've faced the mess, you're ready to start bouncing back from it.
The next step in bouncing back is developing optimism. You can't go from what you don't want to what you want if you don't believe that you can. Optimism is the fuel that will get you moving to make a change in your life.
Of course, it's tough to be optimistic when you've failed yet again. When the setbacks and disappointments pile up, it can feel like optimism is an idiotic state that only the totally clueless can be in,At least two hours.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to be optimistic when you're starting over AGAIN. As an author who has racked up over 2000 rejection letters in the last couple decades, I've experienced many times when I thought optimism was totally impossible.
So how did I find optimism again so I could bounce back and try again,So what does it take to overcome these fears?
I learned to find faith.
"Keep the faith," is often used to encourage people to stay committed to a religion or spiritual practice. But that's not the way I'm using the words faith and keep the faith.
To keep the faith when you're starting over means to remember a very important fact about life: the past does not predict the future. Just because something bad happened in the past, just because you failed the last 100 or 1000 times you tried something doesn't mean you'll fail again. If you remember this, you can find faith that something good can still come your way even after you've experienced a whole bunch of bad.
When you apply optimism and faith to your life, after you accept your situation, you have done what you need to do so you can start bouncing back.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Go to the audition or stay home
Integrity: Essential to Effortless Creative Flow by Valery Satterwhite
If you look up the word "integrity" in the dictionary you will learn that it comes from the Latin word,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, "integer" which means "whole". Integrity is an unreduced or unbroken completeness, wholeness, totality, incorruptibility. It is an unimpaired condition and the quality or state of being complete and undivided. Integrity is found in a state of being who you are and, allowing others the same right.
When you are "in integrity" you are in alignment with who you are at your deepest core; your truth. In any area of your life where you struggle your thoughts and actions are out of integrity, you are not behaving in alignment with who you are.
"The voice within is what I'm married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage. My lover is the place inside me where an honest yes and no come from. That's my true partner. It's always there. And to tell you yes when my integrity says no is to divorce that partner." - Byron Katie
To live in alignment, in integrity with who you are you:
Speak what you know to be true even if it may cause conflict. Ask for what you need and want from others. Behave according to your personal values. Make decisions based on what is true for you, not the beliefs of others. When you are in integrity with who you are, life flows seemingly effortlessly,Getting frustrated is common when we do not get what we want. Instead of yelling at somebody else. When you are acting in ways that are not in alignment with your truth you don't feel good. You may be frustrated or upset. You may think less of yourself and beat yourself up over the choices you have made.
"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus
You continue to create your experiences through the thoughts, emotions, choices and actions that you take. Be mindful of your daily thoughts. Are they in alignment with who you are? Be mindful of what words come after your sentences beginning with "I am". As an artist, for example, if you notice that you often say to yourself, "I'm not creative enough", then you are out of alignment. You are not in integrity with who you are. And it is in this state of being out of alignment that you feel that you are not enough.
I'll state it again because it is that important: You continue to create your experiences through the thoughts, emotions, choices and actions that you take. If your thought is "I'm not creative enough." then you will create more experiences of not being creative enough,Get creative even in your intentions.. When you notice a thought that is out of alignment turn it around. Change "I'm not creative enough." to "I'm a creative person in the process of creating.". Truth is, you are a creative person - albeit a creative person holding herself back at the moment with a misguided, out of integrity, thought. Be mindful of what you say to yourself and others,No problem. Be mindful whether or not those statements are in or out of alignment with who you are. Think and act in integrity with who you are and observe how your life transforms from one of struggle to creative flow.
Every day you make a bajillion choices. Stay in bed for another few minutes or get up and greet the day? Start or continue to work on your project or act upon a distraction? Fries or Salad? Go to the audition or stay home? Promote your work or give up because of 'the economy'? Plastic or Paper? Yes or No?
Choices require decisions. A state of indecision is a decision. Is there a decision you are about to make that might be in conflict with your integrity? How can you tell if a decision is out of integrity with who you are?
It's simple, really. Just ask yourself a few questions and you'll know whether or not the decision you made is in integrity with who you are.
How do I feel about the decision I just made? Do I think more or less of myself having made this decision? Is this decision based upon 'should' or 'supposed to' beliefs of others? Is this decision in alignment with my greater good? Who will I be having made this decision? "Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, 'Something is out of tune." - Carl Jung
If you genuinely care about what you create for your future and want to live in authenticity with who you are you must take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, decisions, actions and outcomes, which result in your experiences. Honor your soul with choices that are in integrity, in alignment with who you are.
Make sure your words and your actions are congruent. Know what you know. Know that you know what you know. Know that you know what you know what you know. And be true to that knowingness. Your internal wisdom. Your intuition. The Wizard Within.
"Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do." - Don Galer
Pay attention to what you say to yourself and others. Be mindful whether or not those statements are in or out of alignment with who you are. Think and act in integrity with who you are and observe how your life transforms from one of struggle to creative flow.
Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite
If you look up the word "integrity" in the dictionary you will learn that it comes from the Latin word,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, "integer" which means "whole". Integrity is an unreduced or unbroken completeness, wholeness, totality, incorruptibility. It is an unimpaired condition and the quality or state of being complete and undivided. Integrity is found in a state of being who you are and, allowing others the same right.
When you are "in integrity" you are in alignment with who you are at your deepest core; your truth. In any area of your life where you struggle your thoughts and actions are out of integrity, you are not behaving in alignment with who you are.
"The voice within is what I'm married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage. My lover is the place inside me where an honest yes and no come from. That's my true partner. It's always there. And to tell you yes when my integrity says no is to divorce that partner." - Byron Katie
To live in alignment, in integrity with who you are you:
Speak what you know to be true even if it may cause conflict. Ask for what you need and want from others. Behave according to your personal values. Make decisions based on what is true for you, not the beliefs of others. When you are in integrity with who you are, life flows seemingly effortlessly,Getting frustrated is common when we do not get what we want. Instead of yelling at somebody else. When you are acting in ways that are not in alignment with your truth you don't feel good. You may be frustrated or upset. You may think less of yourself and beat yourself up over the choices you have made.
"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus
You continue to create your experiences through the thoughts, emotions, choices and actions that you take. Be mindful of your daily thoughts. Are they in alignment with who you are? Be mindful of what words come after your sentences beginning with "I am". As an artist, for example, if you notice that you often say to yourself, "I'm not creative enough", then you are out of alignment. You are not in integrity with who you are. And it is in this state of being out of alignment that you feel that you are not enough.
I'll state it again because it is that important: You continue to create your experiences through the thoughts, emotions, choices and actions that you take. If your thought is "I'm not creative enough." then you will create more experiences of not being creative enough,Get creative even in your intentions.. When you notice a thought that is out of alignment turn it around. Change "I'm not creative enough." to "I'm a creative person in the process of creating.". Truth is, you are a creative person - albeit a creative person holding herself back at the moment with a misguided, out of integrity, thought. Be mindful of what you say to yourself and others,No problem. Be mindful whether or not those statements are in or out of alignment with who you are. Think and act in integrity with who you are and observe how your life transforms from one of struggle to creative flow.
Every day you make a bajillion choices. Stay in bed for another few minutes or get up and greet the day? Start or continue to work on your project or act upon a distraction? Fries or Salad? Go to the audition or stay home? Promote your work or give up because of 'the economy'? Plastic or Paper? Yes or No?
Choices require decisions. A state of indecision is a decision. Is there a decision you are about to make that might be in conflict with your integrity? How can you tell if a decision is out of integrity with who you are?
It's simple, really. Just ask yourself a few questions and you'll know whether or not the decision you made is in integrity with who you are.
How do I feel about the decision I just made? Do I think more or less of myself having made this decision? Is this decision based upon 'should' or 'supposed to' beliefs of others? Is this decision in alignment with my greater good? Who will I be having made this decision? "Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, 'Something is out of tune." - Carl Jung
If you genuinely care about what you create for your future and want to live in authenticity with who you are you must take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, decisions, actions and outcomes, which result in your experiences. Honor your soul with choices that are in integrity, in alignment with who you are.
Make sure your words and your actions are congruent. Know what you know. Know that you know what you know. Know that you know what you know what you know. And be true to that knowingness. Your internal wisdom. Your intuition. The Wizard Within.
"Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do." - Don Galer
Pay attention to what you say to yourself and others. Be mindful whether or not those statements are in or out of alignment with who you are. Think and act in integrity with who you are and observe how your life transforms from one of struggle to creative flow.
Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite
Thursday, November 22, 2012
diverse project through the input of several unique viewpoints.
Conflict Resolution in Work Teams by Kenneth R Tapscott,Are you speaking your truth to enhance the relationship
The process of building a team is no easy task. It requires a lot of commitment, cooperation and communication from all those involved. Everyone in the team should be sharing a common goal and everyone should contribute equally to the team's efforts. Conflicts are inevitable in work teams, but are not something that have to prevent the team from growing and accomplishing it's goals. Setting up a solid team structure and negotiating and mediating all disputes will increase chances of success in work teams.
About work teams
The implementing of work teams is surfacing more often and becoming more prominent in various organizations. Corporations have discovered the effectiveness of work teams and how they can resolve problems such as moral issues, performance issues and many others. (Capozzoli 1999) There are many factors which can prevent the teams from achieving there goals and many issues will surface and have to be delt with in order to have a successful team environment. Socialization is a very important part of team success. This is the stage when team members learn what is required of them to be a part of the team. The socialization of members is typically broken down into stages. There are typically three stages which include, the anticipation stage, the accommodation stage and the acceptance phase. (Capozzoli, T.K. 1995) The anticipation stage occurs first and is prior to a person even joining the team. In this stage future members will think about what may be expected of them when they join the team. They can start preparing for the team and think how they will be able to contribute. The next phase is the accommodation stage. This is where team members become involved with the team on a daily basis. Members will be contributing on a day-to-day basis. At this stage it will become clear to members of the team what is expected of them. Members will learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in the team. The final stage of socialization is the acceptance stage. In this stage members are taking responsibility for their roles on the team. At this stage team members will feel that they are a part of the group and that they are contributing to the teams success. (Bowditch, J. L., Buono,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, A. F. 1997)
Why are there conflicts in teams?
Conflict can arise from numerous sources within a team setting and generally falls into three categories: communication factors, structural factors and personal factors. The first category is Communication. Poor listening skills, ignoring team members, wrongful interpretation and lack of sharing information are all a part of this barrier. These can lead to many misunderstandings. The second category is structural factors, which does not play much of a role with a college work team, as it does in a business. Regardless, disagreements that occur include the size of the organization, levels of participation and reward systems. Finally, personal factors include problems that occur with an individual's self-esteem, their personal goals, values and needs. All of these differences can pose a challenge for the team as a whole. It may be difficult to get everyone in the team working together and contributing equally. (Capozzoli 1999) Communications are the key to success,stocks the fridge. A team must understand conflicts unpredictability and its impact on individuals and the team as a whole. These conflicts must be resolved and dealt with before the team falls apart.
Pros and Cons of Conflict
Conflict does not always become destructive. It can lead to a variety of ideas and give team members an interest in dealing with problems. It can give individuals the opportunity to develop their communication skills and express their personal thoughts to their team members. If you look at it from this perspective, it can be considered a positive thing. Conflict becomes negative when it is left to escalate to the point where people begin to feel defeated and a combative climate of distrust and suspicion develops. Nelson cautions that negative conflict can destroy a team quickly, and often arises from poor planning. He offers the list of high potential areas from which negative conflict issues commonly arise both in the workplace and in college:
· Administration Procedures: If the team lacks good groundwork for what it's doing, its members will not be able to coordinate their work.
· People Resources: If the team does not have enough resources to do the job, it is inevitable that some will carry too heavy a load. Resentment, often unexpressed, may build, so it is crucial that team leaders ensure adequate resources.
· Cost overruns (work place mainly): Often inevitable, cost overruns become a problem when proper measures are not taken. The whole team should know early on when cost becomes a problem so additional funding can be sought by the team. This way the problem can be resolved before it grows into a problem for management.
· Schedules: The schedule is highly consequential to the team's project and should be highly visible. All members should be willing to work together to help each other meet their deadlines.
· Responsibilities: Each team member must know what areas are assigned and who is accountable for them.
· Wish Lists: Stick to the project at hand and avoid being sidetracked into trying to fit other things into it. Wait and do the other things you would like to do after successful completion of the original project.
(Bowditch, J. L., Buono, A. F. 1997).
Team members can and should attempt to avoid negative conflict from occurring. Being aware of the potential for negative conflict to occur and taking the necessary steps to ensure good planning will help. (Esquivel, M.A. & Kleiner, B.H. 1997)
Identify strengths/weaknesses
What will be one person's weakness will possibly be another team member's strengths. It is important early on to have each team member identify for the group what their skills are. Team members should identify the areas in which they will be the most effective and what areas they will be of least assistance. Some team members will be better at proof reading while others will be better at organizing and structuring the projects. Those team members who are visual learns should be assigned the visual task, such as creating tables, charts and other visuals. A very important part of a team is having everyone contribute equally. If one person is given a higher workload then their teammates, a sure conflict will develop. Team will need to lay out what is to be completed and from there distribute it equally to all members of the group.
Scheduling conflicts
People lead many different lives and have many different responsibilities, so it is not always easy for teams to coordinate a meeting. What is a good time for one member may be the busiest time of day for another. Thanks to modern technology team meeting are more easily possible. Do to advances in technology and the Internet, teams are able to met up at any time and any place in either a chat room or on a message board. Studies have found increased participation in computer-supported groups. (Nelson, M 1995) During computer discussions, team members felt more comfortable presenting their ideas and views during computer discussions than during the traditional meeting sessions. The convenience is a big advantage as well. With just a click of the mouse a team can be off and running exchanging ideas and planning for upcoming projects. Scheduling conflict need to be ironed out early on in the beginning stages of forming a team. A team cannot function unless all members are available to meet.
Lack of equal participation
In order to prevent non-equal participation teams need to come together early on and come to an agreement about participation. If it still becomes an issue there are several ways to go about resolving the lack of participation between members. Team members need to communicate with those they feel are not doing their part. Members need to injure about was they perceive as a lack of participation. It is very possible that the one who is not participating is not aware that everyone else in the groups feels this way. Finding out what each member of the group is feeling is the best way to start before approaching a member who is not participating. If it is determined that a member does not want to give equal participation, the group still needs to go on. I
Understanding and overcoming differences
The most important thing to remember when addressing a team conflict is the way in which it is handed is critical. You want to be able to manage the conflict in an effective manner in a way that you solve the problems but keep the group together at the same time. It would be of no advantage to the group if you chose the wrong approach to resolve conflicts and in turn break up the group. Teamwork is not something that can be demanded. It is a fragile structure which needs to be handled delicately so as not to dissolve the group. The key to successful group projects is encouragement of an open, frank dialogue among all participants. Once people feel as though they are able freely available to express their viewpoints without undue criticism or condemnation, a free-flowing environment will materialize. This kind of atmosphere is most conducive to productive work-product creation. Tribulations may crop up, but they can be dealt with in a professional, adult manner. (Porter J.D., Shelia 2003).
After correctly identifying what specific problems have arisen in the group environment, the next step is eradicating,you can't make him drink however, to the extent possible, subject problems. Several methods of resolution may be employed to varying degrees of success. The importance of appropriately classifying the difficulties the team is experiencing cannot be understated. Different problems may require fundamentally different responses.
Conflict Resolution
One method of conflict resolution is collaboration. This least-confrontational technique attempts to solve the problem by including everyone's thoughts. After synthesizing each team member's ideas, the best parts are selected to form the whole. Cooperative efforts made by the team can produce a solid result. This system is appropriate for groups containing especially delicate members and/or those with an inflated sense of self-worth. Perhaps the most effective method of conflict resolution is compromise. The first—and possibly most—important part of compromising is the realization that each person will have to relinquish something for the greater good. Once they can move beyond that, the rest is fairly simple. Even though limited satisfaction may result from seeing some of your work disregarded, a positive end-result should make up for a bruised ego. (Nelson, M 1995)
While others may entertain certain measures of conflict resolution such as avoidance or accommodation, those can prove ineffective and may actually cause larger problems down the line. By ignoring the predicament, it does a disservice to the views that have been stifled and the potentially positive contribution that may otherwise have been included in the project. Another method of solving disagreements is re-shuffling the team members. By altering the construction, a more agreeable stance might be agreed upon. With different people assigned to new tasks, fresh ideas may emerge and the conflict may resolve of its own volition. Even if that does not exclusively answer the quandary, reorganization may tamper down some of the previous problems enough that productive work can now be done. (Porter J.D., Shelia 2003).
Disagreement amongst team members does not necessarily have to represent a problem. In fact, a divergence of viewpoints can be celebrated as being a valuable asset to the ultimate goal of the team. Groups, while sometimes born of necessity, may also be created specifically for the purpose of encouraging a more creative, diverse project through the input of several unique viewpoints.
Conflict resolution inside a learning team is paramount to its success. Serious disagreement among team members can severely impact the group's work or even grind operations to a halt. Teams may try and prevent disruptions from even arising while working together, but inevitably, when people from different backgrounds with diverse viewpoints merge, there will be some measure of disagreement. In order for the team to be effective, a reasonable solution to conflicts that may arise must be employed. Varying circumstances necessitate any one of a multitude of approaches. When the best process is applied, the problem can be discarded and the important work of the team can progress. Through the understanding and acceptance of the value of each team member, internal conflicts may be resolved in an expedient, efficient manner that will strengthen, rather than weaken, the group's mission.
References
Porter J.D., Shelia (2003). Managing Conflict in Learning Teams. Retrieved May 25, 2004, from University of Phoenix, Learning Team Toolkit website:
Capozzoli, T.K. (1995, Dec). Resolving conflict within teams. Journal for Quality & Participation, 18(7), 28-30.
Capozzoli, T.K. (1999, Nov.). Conflict resolution - a key ingredient in successful teams. SuperVision, 60(11), 14-16.
(Esquivel, M.A. & Kleiner, B.H. 1997) (1997). The importance of conflict in work team effectiveness. Team Performance Management, 3(2), 89.
Nelson, M. (1995). Interpersonal team leadership skills. Hospital Material Management Quarterly, 16 (4), 53 - 63.
Rayeski, E., & Bryant, J. D. (1994). Team resolution process: A guideline for teams to manage conflict, performance, and discipline. In M. Beyerlein & M. Bullock (Eds.), The International Conference on Work Teams Proceedings: Anniversary Collection. The Best of 1990 - 1994 (pp. 215 - 221). Denton: University of North Texas, Center for the Study of Work Teams.
Bowditch, J. L., Buono, A. F. (1997). A primer on organizational behavior (4th ed.). New York, NY: JohnWiley & Sons.
The process of building a team is no easy task. It requires a lot of commitment, cooperation and communication from all those involved. Everyone in the team should be sharing a common goal and everyone should contribute equally to the team's efforts. Conflicts are inevitable in work teams, but are not something that have to prevent the team from growing and accomplishing it's goals. Setting up a solid team structure and negotiating and mediating all disputes will increase chances of success in work teams.
About work teams
The implementing of work teams is surfacing more often and becoming more prominent in various organizations. Corporations have discovered the effectiveness of work teams and how they can resolve problems such as moral issues, performance issues and many others. (Capozzoli 1999) There are many factors which can prevent the teams from achieving there goals and many issues will surface and have to be delt with in order to have a successful team environment. Socialization is a very important part of team success. This is the stage when team members learn what is required of them to be a part of the team. The socialization of members is typically broken down into stages. There are typically three stages which include, the anticipation stage, the accommodation stage and the acceptance phase. (Capozzoli, T.K. 1995) The anticipation stage occurs first and is prior to a person even joining the team. In this stage future members will think about what may be expected of them when they join the team. They can start preparing for the team and think how they will be able to contribute. The next phase is the accommodation stage. This is where team members become involved with the team on a daily basis. Members will be contributing on a day-to-day basis. At this stage it will become clear to members of the team what is expected of them. Members will learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in the team. The final stage of socialization is the acceptance stage. In this stage members are taking responsibility for their roles on the team. At this stage team members will feel that they are a part of the group and that they are contributing to the teams success. (Bowditch, J. L., Buono,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, A. F. 1997)
Why are there conflicts in teams?
Conflict can arise from numerous sources within a team setting and generally falls into three categories: communication factors, structural factors and personal factors. The first category is Communication. Poor listening skills, ignoring team members, wrongful interpretation and lack of sharing information are all a part of this barrier. These can lead to many misunderstandings. The second category is structural factors, which does not play much of a role with a college work team, as it does in a business. Regardless, disagreements that occur include the size of the organization, levels of participation and reward systems. Finally, personal factors include problems that occur with an individual's self-esteem, their personal goals, values and needs. All of these differences can pose a challenge for the team as a whole. It may be difficult to get everyone in the team working together and contributing equally. (Capozzoli 1999) Communications are the key to success,stocks the fridge. A team must understand conflicts unpredictability and its impact on individuals and the team as a whole. These conflicts must be resolved and dealt with before the team falls apart.
Pros and Cons of Conflict
Conflict does not always become destructive. It can lead to a variety of ideas and give team members an interest in dealing with problems. It can give individuals the opportunity to develop their communication skills and express their personal thoughts to their team members. If you look at it from this perspective, it can be considered a positive thing. Conflict becomes negative when it is left to escalate to the point where people begin to feel defeated and a combative climate of distrust and suspicion develops. Nelson cautions that negative conflict can destroy a team quickly, and often arises from poor planning. He offers the list of high potential areas from which negative conflict issues commonly arise both in the workplace and in college:
· Administration Procedures: If the team lacks good groundwork for what it's doing, its members will not be able to coordinate their work.
· People Resources: If the team does not have enough resources to do the job, it is inevitable that some will carry too heavy a load. Resentment, often unexpressed, may build, so it is crucial that team leaders ensure adequate resources.
· Cost overruns (work place mainly): Often inevitable, cost overruns become a problem when proper measures are not taken. The whole team should know early on when cost becomes a problem so additional funding can be sought by the team. This way the problem can be resolved before it grows into a problem for management.
· Schedules: The schedule is highly consequential to the team's project and should be highly visible. All members should be willing to work together to help each other meet their deadlines.
· Responsibilities: Each team member must know what areas are assigned and who is accountable for them.
· Wish Lists: Stick to the project at hand and avoid being sidetracked into trying to fit other things into it. Wait and do the other things you would like to do after successful completion of the original project.
(Bowditch, J. L., Buono, A. F. 1997).
Team members can and should attempt to avoid negative conflict from occurring. Being aware of the potential for negative conflict to occur and taking the necessary steps to ensure good planning will help. (Esquivel, M.A. & Kleiner, B.H. 1997)
Identify strengths/weaknesses
What will be one person's weakness will possibly be another team member's strengths. It is important early on to have each team member identify for the group what their skills are. Team members should identify the areas in which they will be the most effective and what areas they will be of least assistance. Some team members will be better at proof reading while others will be better at organizing and structuring the projects. Those team members who are visual learns should be assigned the visual task, such as creating tables, charts and other visuals. A very important part of a team is having everyone contribute equally. If one person is given a higher workload then their teammates, a sure conflict will develop. Team will need to lay out what is to be completed and from there distribute it equally to all members of the group.
Scheduling conflicts
People lead many different lives and have many different responsibilities, so it is not always easy for teams to coordinate a meeting. What is a good time for one member may be the busiest time of day for another. Thanks to modern technology team meeting are more easily possible. Do to advances in technology and the Internet, teams are able to met up at any time and any place in either a chat room or on a message board. Studies have found increased participation in computer-supported groups. (Nelson, M 1995) During computer discussions, team members felt more comfortable presenting their ideas and views during computer discussions than during the traditional meeting sessions. The convenience is a big advantage as well. With just a click of the mouse a team can be off and running exchanging ideas and planning for upcoming projects. Scheduling conflict need to be ironed out early on in the beginning stages of forming a team. A team cannot function unless all members are available to meet.
Lack of equal participation
In order to prevent non-equal participation teams need to come together early on and come to an agreement about participation. If it still becomes an issue there are several ways to go about resolving the lack of participation between members. Team members need to communicate with those they feel are not doing their part. Members need to injure about was they perceive as a lack of participation. It is very possible that the one who is not participating is not aware that everyone else in the groups feels this way. Finding out what each member of the group is feeling is the best way to start before approaching a member who is not participating. If it is determined that a member does not want to give equal participation, the group still needs to go on. I
Understanding and overcoming differences
The most important thing to remember when addressing a team conflict is the way in which it is handed is critical. You want to be able to manage the conflict in an effective manner in a way that you solve the problems but keep the group together at the same time. It would be of no advantage to the group if you chose the wrong approach to resolve conflicts and in turn break up the group. Teamwork is not something that can be demanded. It is a fragile structure which needs to be handled delicately so as not to dissolve the group. The key to successful group projects is encouragement of an open, frank dialogue among all participants. Once people feel as though they are able freely available to express their viewpoints without undue criticism or condemnation, a free-flowing environment will materialize. This kind of atmosphere is most conducive to productive work-product creation. Tribulations may crop up, but they can be dealt with in a professional, adult manner. (Porter J.D., Shelia 2003).
After correctly identifying what specific problems have arisen in the group environment, the next step is eradicating,you can't make him drink however, to the extent possible, subject problems. Several methods of resolution may be employed to varying degrees of success. The importance of appropriately classifying the difficulties the team is experiencing cannot be understated. Different problems may require fundamentally different responses.
Conflict Resolution
One method of conflict resolution is collaboration. This least-confrontational technique attempts to solve the problem by including everyone's thoughts. After synthesizing each team member's ideas, the best parts are selected to form the whole. Cooperative efforts made by the team can produce a solid result. This system is appropriate for groups containing especially delicate members and/or those with an inflated sense of self-worth. Perhaps the most effective method of conflict resolution is compromise. The first—and possibly most—important part of compromising is the realization that each person will have to relinquish something for the greater good. Once they can move beyond that, the rest is fairly simple. Even though limited satisfaction may result from seeing some of your work disregarded, a positive end-result should make up for a bruised ego. (Nelson, M 1995)
While others may entertain certain measures of conflict resolution such as avoidance or accommodation, those can prove ineffective and may actually cause larger problems down the line. By ignoring the predicament, it does a disservice to the views that have been stifled and the potentially positive contribution that may otherwise have been included in the project. Another method of solving disagreements is re-shuffling the team members. By altering the construction, a more agreeable stance might be agreed upon. With different people assigned to new tasks, fresh ideas may emerge and the conflict may resolve of its own volition. Even if that does not exclusively answer the quandary, reorganization may tamper down some of the previous problems enough that productive work can now be done. (Porter J.D., Shelia 2003).
Disagreement amongst team members does not necessarily have to represent a problem. In fact, a divergence of viewpoints can be celebrated as being a valuable asset to the ultimate goal of the team. Groups, while sometimes born of necessity, may also be created specifically for the purpose of encouraging a more creative, diverse project through the input of several unique viewpoints.
Conflict resolution inside a learning team is paramount to its success. Serious disagreement among team members can severely impact the group's work or even grind operations to a halt. Teams may try and prevent disruptions from even arising while working together, but inevitably, when people from different backgrounds with diverse viewpoints merge, there will be some measure of disagreement. In order for the team to be effective, a reasonable solution to conflicts that may arise must be employed. Varying circumstances necessitate any one of a multitude of approaches. When the best process is applied, the problem can be discarded and the important work of the team can progress. Through the understanding and acceptance of the value of each team member, internal conflicts may be resolved in an expedient, efficient manner that will strengthen, rather than weaken, the group's mission.
References
Porter J.D., Shelia (2003). Managing Conflict in Learning Teams. Retrieved May 25, 2004, from University of Phoenix, Learning Team Toolkit website:
Capozzoli, T.K. (1995, Dec). Resolving conflict within teams. Journal for Quality & Participation, 18(7), 28-30.
Capozzoli, T.K. (1999, Nov.). Conflict resolution - a key ingredient in successful teams. SuperVision, 60(11), 14-16.
(Esquivel, M.A. & Kleiner, B.H. 1997) (1997). The importance of conflict in work team effectiveness. Team Performance Management, 3(2), 89.
Nelson, M. (1995). Interpersonal team leadership skills. Hospital Material Management Quarterly, 16 (4), 53 - 63.
Rayeski, E., & Bryant, J. D. (1994). Team resolution process: A guideline for teams to manage conflict, performance, and discipline. In M. Beyerlein & M. Bullock (Eds.), The International Conference on Work Teams Proceedings: Anniversary Collection. The Best of 1990 - 1994 (pp. 215 - 221). Denton: University of North Texas, Center for the Study of Work Teams.
Bowditch, J. L., Buono, A. F. (1997). A primer on organizational behavior (4th ed.). New York, NY: JohnWiley & Sons.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
"You're happy
How Breaking Routine and Unexpected Acts of Kindness Can Energize Your Day
Sometimes life becomes so routine, we don't have to think about a thing we're doing throughout the day. We're programmed to run on automatic. It's important to shake things up every once in a while to get the creative juices flowing, give us an added boost of energy or give us something to concentrate on for a change,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
When routine sets in, particularly in relationships, we can't always see the impact it has until we throw a new ingredient into the mix. This week, I ventured outside of my regular routine, and performed a very unexpected act of kindness. The results were terrific!
Picture it, Cicely, 1945 oops, wait, wrong story ...
Picture it, Northern Ontario, Winter 2004. It's Friday morning, snow is falling,Lina Wertmuller and Jane Campion., there is a nip in the air and neither my husband nor I want to get out of our toasty warm bed to get ready for work.
We go through the same exercise every morning. We both wait for the other one to get up first to turn up the furnace, then he heads to his washroom to get ready and I go into my office to meditate for half an hour.
This morning, however, neither of us would budge,Want clear thinking. He didn't want to get up, shower, make breakfast and prepare lunches, and I didn't want to meditate, go through my agenda for the day and start prioritizing my long list of outstanding tasks. We were stuck.
I must have been desperate or temporarily insane because I suddenly blurted out, "Hey! You get up and get ready and I'll make you breakfast today!" He was stunned at first and didn't say a word, then started laughing, "Yeah right. What about your meditation?" For anyone who knows me, there are two things I don't do cook (unless I'm in a real bind) and deviate from my routine.
I insisted I was going to cook for him anything he wanted. Eggs, bacon, you name it! There will be no meditating today. He hesitantly agreed and headed for his washroom, wondering if his dear partner had been possessed during the night and lost complete leave of her senses. The last time I made him breakfast was, hmmm, let's see when was the last time the Oilers won the cup?
I whipped up a hearty breakfast and while he ate, he repeatedly commented on how he couldn't believe I had done this. He thanked me several times.
Once I had finished in the kitchen, I went to my room to start getting ready for work. I could hear him singing and talking to himself in the kitchen. I called out to him, "You're happy, aren't you?" and he answered, "My baby made me breakfast!"
It was amazing how performing a small task for the benefit of someone else made such a BIG impact! My husband was excited and happy, and I felt fantastic for making him feel appreciated and loved.
For the remainder of the day, I was a fireball. I joked with everyone at work and had them laughing and feeling great. The day flew by. I accomplished loads of work and had tons of energy.
When my husband got home from work, he told me about his great day, how he was zinging off one-liners at the guys and making them laugh,The Role Of Work In Recovery by Arthur Buchanan, and how good he felt, mentally and physically.
Changing our routine and experiencing an act of kindness elevated both of us mentally, physically and emotionally. It is no secret that change and giving to others boost our energy levels, but we get so caught up in daily living that we easily forget. We fall into the comfort zone of habit.
Today is a new day. What can YOU do differently? Take a different route to work? Part your hair on the left instead of in center? Take the stairs instead of the elevator? Whatever it is and no matter how small, change makes a positive impact.
What can YOU do for someone else today? Something completely unsolicited and without expectation. If you're going through the drive-thru at the coffee shop, pay for the coffee for the driver behind you. If you see someone struggling with her bags at the grocery store, lend a hand. The simplest act of kindness will reap big rewards for the giver, receiver and everyone they touch throughout the day.
Sometimes life becomes so routine, we don't have to think about a thing we're doing throughout the day. We're programmed to run on automatic. It's important to shake things up every once in a while to get the creative juices flowing, give us an added boost of energy or give us something to concentrate on for a change,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
When routine sets in, particularly in relationships, we can't always see the impact it has until we throw a new ingredient into the mix. This week, I ventured outside of my regular routine, and performed a very unexpected act of kindness. The results were terrific!
Picture it, Cicely, 1945 oops, wait, wrong story ...
Picture it, Northern Ontario, Winter 2004. It's Friday morning, snow is falling,Lina Wertmuller and Jane Campion., there is a nip in the air and neither my husband nor I want to get out of our toasty warm bed to get ready for work.
We go through the same exercise every morning. We both wait for the other one to get up first to turn up the furnace, then he heads to his washroom to get ready and I go into my office to meditate for half an hour.
This morning, however, neither of us would budge,Want clear thinking. He didn't want to get up, shower, make breakfast and prepare lunches, and I didn't want to meditate, go through my agenda for the day and start prioritizing my long list of outstanding tasks. We were stuck.
I must have been desperate or temporarily insane because I suddenly blurted out, "Hey! You get up and get ready and I'll make you breakfast today!" He was stunned at first and didn't say a word, then started laughing, "Yeah right. What about your meditation?" For anyone who knows me, there are two things I don't do cook (unless I'm in a real bind) and deviate from my routine.
I insisted I was going to cook for him anything he wanted. Eggs, bacon, you name it! There will be no meditating today. He hesitantly agreed and headed for his washroom, wondering if his dear partner had been possessed during the night and lost complete leave of her senses. The last time I made him breakfast was, hmmm, let's see when was the last time the Oilers won the cup?
I whipped up a hearty breakfast and while he ate, he repeatedly commented on how he couldn't believe I had done this. He thanked me several times.
Once I had finished in the kitchen, I went to my room to start getting ready for work. I could hear him singing and talking to himself in the kitchen. I called out to him, "You're happy, aren't you?" and he answered, "My baby made me breakfast!"
It was amazing how performing a small task for the benefit of someone else made such a BIG impact! My husband was excited and happy, and I felt fantastic for making him feel appreciated and loved.
For the remainder of the day, I was a fireball. I joked with everyone at work and had them laughing and feeling great. The day flew by. I accomplished loads of work and had tons of energy.
When my husband got home from work, he told me about his great day, how he was zinging off one-liners at the guys and making them laugh,The Role Of Work In Recovery by Arthur Buchanan, and how good he felt, mentally and physically.
Changing our routine and experiencing an act of kindness elevated both of us mentally, physically and emotionally. It is no secret that change and giving to others boost our energy levels, but we get so caught up in daily living that we easily forget. We fall into the comfort zone of habit.
Today is a new day. What can YOU do differently? Take a different route to work? Part your hair on the left instead of in center? Take the stairs instead of the elevator? Whatever it is and no matter how small, change makes a positive impact.
What can YOU do for someone else today? Something completely unsolicited and without expectation. If you're going through the drive-thru at the coffee shop, pay for the coffee for the driver behind you. If you see someone struggling with her bags at the grocery store, lend a hand. The simplest act of kindness will reap big rewards for the giver, receiver and everyone they touch throughout the day.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
he/she can't give a Leadership Talk.
Get Out Of The Stone Age: Give Leadership Talks
160 years ago, the newly invented electric telegraph carried the first news message. The message zipped 40 miles in a flash over wires from Baltimore to Washington, D.C.
The public was dazzled -- except Henry David Thoreau. He wrote: "We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate."
Today, we live in a Golden Age of communication. We have the Internet. We have faxes. We have e-mails. We have streaming video. We have on-line audio. We have RSS feeds. We have logs and blogs.
Yet today Thoreau is as right as rain. When it comes to really getting our messages across, we're stuck in the Stone Age.
Here's why. The vast majority of business leaders I've encountered are repeatedly making a huge mistake in communication, a mistake that's screwing up their jobs and careers. They're stuck giving presentations and speeches. They're NOT giving Leadership Talks!
What's a Leadership Talk? Look at it this way: There's a hierarchy of verbal persuasion when it comes to business leadership. The lowest levels are speeches and presentations. They communicate information. The highest, most effective way of communicating is the Leadership Talk. The Leadership Talk does more than simply send information. It has the leader establish a deep, human, emotional connection with the audience. That's where leaders communicate for the best results.
Here are a few examples of leadership talks. When Churchill said, "We will fight on the beaches ... " That was a leadership talk. When Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you ... " that was a leadership talk. When Reagan said, "Mr,they do not sow or reap or store away in barns. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" That was a leadership talk.
You can come up with a lot of examples too. Go back to those moments when the words of a leader inspired people to take ardent action, and you've probably put your finger on an authentic leadership talk.
Mind you, I'm not just talking about great leaders of history. I'm also talking about all leaders everywhere no matter what their function or rank. After all, leaders speak 15 to 20 times a day: everything from formal speeches to informal chats,every question you have about life. When those interactions are leadership talks, not just speeches or presentations, the effectiveness of those leaders is dramatically increased.
That's where business leaders communicate for the best results. You can order people to go from point A to point B. But the best way to get great results is to have people want to go from A to B. Instilling "want to" in others, motivating them ... isn't that what great leadership is all about?
Don't get me wrong. The Leadership Talk is not some kind of "feel-good" way of relating. It took me 20 years to figure out how to give Leadership Talks and write two books about it. There are specific processes one must manifest in order to give Leadership Talks. Usually it takes me two full days to teach people how to do it. Once they learn it, they can use it throughout the rest of their careers. The Leadership Talk is relatively easy to learn and it takes years to master. The point is that through it, you can take specific, concrete steps to motivate people to take action that gets great results.
For instance, before leaders can develop and deliver a Leadership Talk, they must first answer "yes" to three simple questions: "Do you know what the audience needs? Can you transfer your deep believe to others so they believe as strongly as you do about the challenges you face? And can you have that audience take ardent action that gets results,If you need the support of a Law of Attraction Coach?" If leaders "no" to any one of those questions,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, he/she can't give a Leadership Talk.
160 years ago the dots and dashes that chattered down the wires from Baltimore to Washington spelled out that the Whigs had nominated Henry Clay to run for the presidency.
Back then, Thoreau might have said nothing important was communicated; but today if you want to lead for great results, take Thoreau to heart. Communicate what truly IS important. Don't give presentations and speeches. Give Leadership Talks. Forge those deep, human, emotional connections with your audiences. Get them motivated to take ardent action for great results.
2005 The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to:
160 years ago, the newly invented electric telegraph carried the first news message. The message zipped 40 miles in a flash over wires from Baltimore to Washington, D.C.
The public was dazzled -- except Henry David Thoreau. He wrote: "We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate."
Today, we live in a Golden Age of communication. We have the Internet. We have faxes. We have e-mails. We have streaming video. We have on-line audio. We have RSS feeds. We have logs and blogs.
Yet today Thoreau is as right as rain. When it comes to really getting our messages across, we're stuck in the Stone Age.
Here's why. The vast majority of business leaders I've encountered are repeatedly making a huge mistake in communication, a mistake that's screwing up their jobs and careers. They're stuck giving presentations and speeches. They're NOT giving Leadership Talks!
What's a Leadership Talk? Look at it this way: There's a hierarchy of verbal persuasion when it comes to business leadership. The lowest levels are speeches and presentations. They communicate information. The highest, most effective way of communicating is the Leadership Talk. The Leadership Talk does more than simply send information. It has the leader establish a deep, human, emotional connection with the audience. That's where leaders communicate for the best results.
Here are a few examples of leadership talks. When Churchill said, "We will fight on the beaches ... " That was a leadership talk. When Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you ... " that was a leadership talk. When Reagan said, "Mr,they do not sow or reap or store away in barns. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" That was a leadership talk.
You can come up with a lot of examples too. Go back to those moments when the words of a leader inspired people to take ardent action, and you've probably put your finger on an authentic leadership talk.
Mind you, I'm not just talking about great leaders of history. I'm also talking about all leaders everywhere no matter what their function or rank. After all, leaders speak 15 to 20 times a day: everything from formal speeches to informal chats,every question you have about life. When those interactions are leadership talks, not just speeches or presentations, the effectiveness of those leaders is dramatically increased.
That's where business leaders communicate for the best results. You can order people to go from point A to point B. But the best way to get great results is to have people want to go from A to B. Instilling "want to" in others, motivating them ... isn't that what great leadership is all about?
Don't get me wrong. The Leadership Talk is not some kind of "feel-good" way of relating. It took me 20 years to figure out how to give Leadership Talks and write two books about it. There are specific processes one must manifest in order to give Leadership Talks. Usually it takes me two full days to teach people how to do it. Once they learn it, they can use it throughout the rest of their careers. The Leadership Talk is relatively easy to learn and it takes years to master. The point is that through it, you can take specific, concrete steps to motivate people to take action that gets great results.
For instance, before leaders can develop and deliver a Leadership Talk, they must first answer "yes" to three simple questions: "Do you know what the audience needs? Can you transfer your deep believe to others so they believe as strongly as you do about the challenges you face? And can you have that audience take ardent action that gets results,If you need the support of a Law of Attraction Coach?" If leaders "no" to any one of those questions,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, he/she can't give a Leadership Talk.
160 years ago the dots and dashes that chattered down the wires from Baltimore to Washington spelled out that the Whigs had nominated Henry Clay to run for the presidency.
Back then, Thoreau might have said nothing important was communicated; but today if you want to lead for great results, take Thoreau to heart. Communicate what truly IS important. Don't give presentations and speeches. Give Leadership Talks. Forge those deep, human, emotional connections with your audiences. Get them motivated to take ardent action for great results.
2005 The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to:
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Treat yourself to a manicure
5 Easy Ways to Pamper Yourself
Life is so busy and as mothers we spend so much time tending to the needs of others and pampering others that we sometimes neglect to pamper ourselves.
Here are 5 easy and fun ways to pamper yourself and nurture your mind,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, body and spirit:
Wake up before the others in the house do and flip through a magazine or simply sip on a hot cup of coffee or tea and enjoy a few uninterrupted moments before the day fully begins,The nine initial prominent successful leaders who overcame adversity that were interviewed included.
Weather permitting, take a nice walk and just enjoy your surroundings. Take note of all the beauty that is surrounding you.
Take short breaks during your day whether you are a stay at home mom, work at home mom or work outside of the home,Do You Say What You Mean, try doing something for yourself periodically throughout the day. You can close your eyes and daydream, browse through the paper or simply have a short friendly chat with a friend.
Treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure or even a new hairstyle. We often are so used to treating others that we forget to treat ourselves and forget to let others pamper us.
Take a nice long warm bubble bath,How to Lead and Influence Change by Anne Warfield. Fill your mind and senses with a nice fragrance and just soak for as long as you can.
It is truly amazing at how pampering yourself will rejuvenate you!
Take Care,
Aurelia
Life is so busy and as mothers we spend so much time tending to the needs of others and pampering others that we sometimes neglect to pamper ourselves.
Here are 5 easy and fun ways to pamper yourself and nurture your mind,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots, body and spirit:
Wake up before the others in the house do and flip through a magazine or simply sip on a hot cup of coffee or tea and enjoy a few uninterrupted moments before the day fully begins,The nine initial prominent successful leaders who overcame adversity that were interviewed included.
Weather permitting, take a nice walk and just enjoy your surroundings. Take note of all the beauty that is surrounding you.
Take short breaks during your day whether you are a stay at home mom, work at home mom or work outside of the home,Do You Say What You Mean, try doing something for yourself periodically throughout the day. You can close your eyes and daydream, browse through the paper or simply have a short friendly chat with a friend.
Treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure or even a new hairstyle. We often are so used to treating others that we forget to treat ourselves and forget to let others pamper us.
Take a nice long warm bubble bath,How to Lead and Influence Change by Anne Warfield. Fill your mind and senses with a nice fragrance and just soak for as long as you can.
It is truly amazing at how pampering yourself will rejuvenate you!
Take Care,
Aurelia
Sunday, November 11, 2012
the part where instinctive thoughts and behaviors are stored. In effect
How to Attract Happiness by Roseanna Leaton
I wonder whether you noticed an article by the columnist David Brooks in the New York Times entitled the "Sandra Bullock Trade". It certainly caught my eye as it focuses upon the interactions between personal and professional success with levels of happiness,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
Over the last few decades much research has been carried out with regards to the science of happiness. A state of happiness is after all what we would all wish to experience. There are many different and varied goals which we might pursue, but ultimately the thing which we seek through any of these diverse routes is happiness.
One of the many pieces of research has identified that to achieve professional success does not necessarily mean that you will achieve corresponding levels of happiness. But success in your personal life, in your marriage or close relationships, does provide a good indication of happiness. More money might lead you to greater happiness, but not necessarily so; a good relationship is far more likely to pave the way to happiness (and also longevity, but that is another story).
So why are so many more people in this day and age apparently so fixated upon their careers and monetary goals, seemingly oblivious to the potential negative impact upon their relationships? It seems that we are searching for happiness in the wrong places and perhaps it is time for many of us to take a step back and view our lives from a different angle.
This can however be hard to do when we live in a society where our self confidence, self image and sense of achievement is often measured by what we do as opposed to who we really are,when I hear "A Summer Place. Our sense of identity can become blurred and indistinct as our professional persona grows larger and our inner self takes a back seat,you will prove yourself a winner. As time goes by it becomes easier to live with that persona as it becomes more familiar to us, and frequently shields us from our inner fears and doubts.
Many of us reach a point where we do not want to let go of either the trappings of a successful career or the persona of that successful professional image. But if it is not making you happy or, worse still, standing in the way of your happiness, then it is time for a change. When one reaches such an insight, it becomes important to strip away a few of those superficial layers and look instead at ones inner reality.
Hypnosis is very helpful in this process as it allows you to access your subconscious mind, the part where instinctive thoughts and behaviors are stored. In effect, hypnosis allows you to take a step back and see things from a different angle,they act to prove that it's wrong. Hypnosis helps you to relax in the moment and to experience happiness at the same time.
We know from research findings that to be in a good close relationship is a better indicator of happiness than anything else. Thus the most important thing to focus upon so as to attract happiness into your life is the area of personal relationships. In creating deeper and more meaningful bonds in your personal relationships you will derive far more happiness than from professional success.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads to help create good relationships, happiness and well-being.
P.S. Are you ready to be happy? Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website.
I wonder whether you noticed an article by the columnist David Brooks in the New York Times entitled the "Sandra Bullock Trade". It certainly caught my eye as it focuses upon the interactions between personal and professional success with levels of happiness,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
Over the last few decades much research has been carried out with regards to the science of happiness. A state of happiness is after all what we would all wish to experience. There are many different and varied goals which we might pursue, but ultimately the thing which we seek through any of these diverse routes is happiness.
One of the many pieces of research has identified that to achieve professional success does not necessarily mean that you will achieve corresponding levels of happiness. But success in your personal life, in your marriage or close relationships, does provide a good indication of happiness. More money might lead you to greater happiness, but not necessarily so; a good relationship is far more likely to pave the way to happiness (and also longevity, but that is another story).
So why are so many more people in this day and age apparently so fixated upon their careers and monetary goals, seemingly oblivious to the potential negative impact upon their relationships? It seems that we are searching for happiness in the wrong places and perhaps it is time for many of us to take a step back and view our lives from a different angle.
This can however be hard to do when we live in a society where our self confidence, self image and sense of achievement is often measured by what we do as opposed to who we really are,when I hear "A Summer Place. Our sense of identity can become blurred and indistinct as our professional persona grows larger and our inner self takes a back seat,you will prove yourself a winner. As time goes by it becomes easier to live with that persona as it becomes more familiar to us, and frequently shields us from our inner fears and doubts.
Many of us reach a point where we do not want to let go of either the trappings of a successful career or the persona of that successful professional image. But if it is not making you happy or, worse still, standing in the way of your happiness, then it is time for a change. When one reaches such an insight, it becomes important to strip away a few of those superficial layers and look instead at ones inner reality.
Hypnosis is very helpful in this process as it allows you to access your subconscious mind, the part where instinctive thoughts and behaviors are stored. In effect, hypnosis allows you to take a step back and see things from a different angle,they act to prove that it's wrong. Hypnosis helps you to relax in the moment and to experience happiness at the same time.
We know from research findings that to be in a good close relationship is a better indicator of happiness than anything else. Thus the most important thing to focus upon so as to attract happiness into your life is the area of personal relationships. In creating deeper and more meaningful bonds in your personal relationships you will derive far more happiness than from professional success.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads to help create good relationships, happiness and well-being.
P.S. Are you ready to be happy? Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website.
Friday, November 9, 2012
and yet they actually depend upon a supply of labour and materials
Enlightened Management: from No to Yes in 7 Words by James Burgess
Enlightened Management is the future of corporate strategy in the new era that is dawning.
Many of us are employed in management positions or have influence over the thinking of managers, because they are our colleagues, bosses, clients, students, or we are in some other relationship with them. Probably most of us actually. It may be that we have adopted a position of compliance to fulfil what is expected of us in our roles, yet the time has now come to put that attitude aside and assert a more responsible position: one where we do all we can to change what must be changed, and do it as a matter of urgency.
Who will act if we do not? If we have Free Will then God actually has no authority to protect us from ourselves, we need to do it from our own volition. Day by day, it is becoming clearer that the powers that be either can't or won't make the changes needed to avoid imminent environmental collapse, which could actually despoil the beauty on Earth for ever—extinct species don't regrow. Therefore these managers are part of the problem. We need to persuade them to become part of the solution, or unseat them.
No: Refuse corruption,you're going to get what you have always gotten. Act always from principle and never out of an expediency that violates personal integrity. Be honest, if even it costs money. Be ecological (refuse to be wasteful, turn the lights off, encourage car-sharing etc.) Be clear in your corporate identity. Let decisions be made that honour the dignity of the firm. Survive—but not at all costs. A business has no heart or soul and is driven by forces that can corrupt individuals, yet as people, we do have hearts and souls that need to be honoured, sometimes despite corporate imperatives. If a company will only survive through ignoble actions—then let it fail.
Hello: Be open to new consciousness. Times are changing fast and markets reflect this. The urgency for remedial work on the Earth's environment is more and more evident and such work must be affected through corporate endeavour, so there will be special opportunities for highly aware managers to develop their companies in line with the needs of the planet and its inhabitants.
Thank You: Show people that they are valued: staff, customers, suppliers, shareholders and the public. Give them all a forum so that their valuable feedback can be acknowledged. Care about them for real. Appreciate the limited resources of the Earth.
Goodbye: Confront injustice,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots,Although the rule is not to quit. Finish what you start. Complete all deals according to contract. Realize when it's time to let go of past methods. Be decisive. Address problems effectively. Compete through efficiency.
Please: Be specific about the corporate plan. Align your interests with all others—customers, suppliers, staff etc, to win their cooperation. Make instructions to employees clear and cordial.
Sorry: Be sensitive to the effect you have upon all others. Replace faulty goods,"What you want is revelation of Truth in your own soul, dispose of your waste ecologically, recycle, restore forests etc and compensate fairly those who have genuine grievances.
Yes: Be aware that it is more sustainable to adopt a model of cooperation than competition, so try to be always in harmony with all people and the environment. Be softer than you need to be. Help the shareholders to agree that there's more to the long-term success of a business than is measured by the Profit and Loss Account.
It is a feature of Western business thought that the customer is given a higher value than the supplier (the customer is always right). And yet—since all comes from Mother Earth—it is actually the supplier who is our source of nurture and sustenance. The Earth herself is the only real supplier. In business terms suppliers are often seen as middlemen, and yet they actually depend upon a supply of labour and materials (materials mined from the Earth with labour). It all comes down to labour in the end and mostly this is cheap labour, very little different from slavery. This enslavement comes as a result of raising the customer above the supplier in value. Much would change if we honoured the supplier above the customer. Consumerism itself (with all its wastefulness and abuses) would be challenged.
Is it nalve and idealistic to hope that the cut-and-thrust mentality that governs corporate endeavour will give way to an attitude based upon long-term intelligence rather than short term gains? Perhaps not too much. Major employers are often governments, which (theoretically at least) are subject to public opinion. Even the private sector is controlled significantly by the shareholders, who are very often pension and investment managers with a view to the bigger, longer picture. Ethical investment is already with us—and is here to stay: consciousness in the realm of shareholders! There has always been a conflict of interests between owners and servants; there may always be so. Yet a hundred years ago, trade unions were powerless and women had no votes. Things are changeable and individuals can influence corporate policy, given persistence and time. People are important.
Enlightened Management is the future of corporate strategy in the new era that is dawning.
Many of us are employed in management positions or have influence over the thinking of managers, because they are our colleagues, bosses, clients, students, or we are in some other relationship with them. Probably most of us actually. It may be that we have adopted a position of compliance to fulfil what is expected of us in our roles, yet the time has now come to put that attitude aside and assert a more responsible position: one where we do all we can to change what must be changed, and do it as a matter of urgency.
Who will act if we do not? If we have Free Will then God actually has no authority to protect us from ourselves, we need to do it from our own volition. Day by day, it is becoming clearer that the powers that be either can't or won't make the changes needed to avoid imminent environmental collapse, which could actually despoil the beauty on Earth for ever—extinct species don't regrow. Therefore these managers are part of the problem. We need to persuade them to become part of the solution, or unseat them.
No: Refuse corruption,you're going to get what you have always gotten. Act always from principle and never out of an expediency that violates personal integrity. Be honest, if even it costs money. Be ecological (refuse to be wasteful, turn the lights off, encourage car-sharing etc.) Be clear in your corporate identity. Let decisions be made that honour the dignity of the firm. Survive—but not at all costs. A business has no heart or soul and is driven by forces that can corrupt individuals, yet as people, we do have hearts and souls that need to be honoured, sometimes despite corporate imperatives. If a company will only survive through ignoble actions—then let it fail.
Hello: Be open to new consciousness. Times are changing fast and markets reflect this. The urgency for remedial work on the Earth's environment is more and more evident and such work must be affected through corporate endeavour, so there will be special opportunities for highly aware managers to develop their companies in line with the needs of the planet and its inhabitants.
Thank You: Show people that they are valued: staff, customers, suppliers, shareholders and the public. Give them all a forum so that their valuable feedback can be acknowledged. Care about them for real. Appreciate the limited resources of the Earth.
Goodbye: Confront injustice,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots,Although the rule is not to quit. Finish what you start. Complete all deals according to contract. Realize when it's time to let go of past methods. Be decisive. Address problems effectively. Compete through efficiency.
Please: Be specific about the corporate plan. Align your interests with all others—customers, suppliers, staff etc, to win their cooperation. Make instructions to employees clear and cordial.
Sorry: Be sensitive to the effect you have upon all others. Replace faulty goods,"What you want is revelation of Truth in your own soul, dispose of your waste ecologically, recycle, restore forests etc and compensate fairly those who have genuine grievances.
Yes: Be aware that it is more sustainable to adopt a model of cooperation than competition, so try to be always in harmony with all people and the environment. Be softer than you need to be. Help the shareholders to agree that there's more to the long-term success of a business than is measured by the Profit and Loss Account.
It is a feature of Western business thought that the customer is given a higher value than the supplier (the customer is always right). And yet—since all comes from Mother Earth—it is actually the supplier who is our source of nurture and sustenance. The Earth herself is the only real supplier. In business terms suppliers are often seen as middlemen, and yet they actually depend upon a supply of labour and materials (materials mined from the Earth with labour). It all comes down to labour in the end and mostly this is cheap labour, very little different from slavery. This enslavement comes as a result of raising the customer above the supplier in value. Much would change if we honoured the supplier above the customer. Consumerism itself (with all its wastefulness and abuses) would be challenged.
Is it nalve and idealistic to hope that the cut-and-thrust mentality that governs corporate endeavour will give way to an attitude based upon long-term intelligence rather than short term gains? Perhaps not too much. Major employers are often governments, which (theoretically at least) are subject to public opinion. Even the private sector is controlled significantly by the shareholders, who are very often pension and investment managers with a view to the bigger, longer picture. Ethical investment is already with us—and is here to stay: consciousness in the realm of shareholders! There has always been a conflict of interests between owners and servants; there may always be so. Yet a hundred years ago, trade unions were powerless and women had no votes. Things are changeable and individuals can influence corporate policy, given persistence and time. People are important.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
but remember you have to be precise to the point
4 Steps to Personal Power by Kai Jumat
Hi, my name is Kai Jumat and I will like to personally thank you for investing your time reading this article. What you are about to learn are not rocket science nor things you already have not heard of!
In fact you have the personal power within you! I'm here to help you awaken that giant within you,I must have ran into her at least twenty times during my year-and-a- quarter of living here,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
So quickly I'm going to unravel the 4 basic steps to personal power.
This are very small concise baby steps. You may wonder why the magic number 4? Does it matter? The truth is the more concise the package is, the more detailed I get into and the more precise to the point which I am going to deliver are what really matter most.
First step: You need to know exactly what you want,or complete a final version of my chemistry paper. Some people often make the biggest mistake in their lives by working so hard in their lives and get so distracted by minor things in life that they often forget what they are fighting for or what benefits to be reap from all those hard work. If you are reading this, chances are you want to change your life for the better. You may have an idea of what kind of life you desire, but remember you have to be precise to the point! A million dollar plan is different from a mere $1000 a month plan. You know that! But why is it that most people still ignore the fact that they need to know what they want,workshops?
Most people get frustrated and shoot their anger at people around them, the very same people they worked hard to bring forth happiness for, and often at times they don't know what causes this frustrations. Scientist call it mid life crisis but you and me know that its can't be true as most young adults in their 20s are already pondering and wondering what they heck went wrong in their lives.
So yes you have to be specific in your goal setting! Best still, say it out loud so that you can hear it. Make sure your brain can hear it. When it sinks down subconciously, you have nailed it to your brain saying that you aren't satisfied with your current life and you want more out of yourself.
Second step you have to make, may seem a little obvious but alot of people stop here and in fact 99% of people fail to find happiness because they fail to go through this stage. It is called "Taking Massive Action!" You heard that right! Why is it that people procrastinate to start taking action. In their minds they conceived that beautiful car but what's bothering them is the fear of failure. It isn't so much of laziness or lack of desire that set most people to the path of inactivity, its fear of failure. What's troubling in this society is that people fear the thought of that failure rather than that failure. Might sound a little cliche, but there's truth in it. Almost a 100% of the time, most people that fail in and get back up don't feel any much fear as compared to those that don't take action. You may laugh saying what the risk of failure right? But that's how most people react. They don't do anything and that's complete failure.
Thirdly, you need a plan of actions. You can't possibly just go about doing things and hope it will be alright. Hell yea! Pardon the language. Let me assure you when things seemed smooth sailing Murphy will come down looking for you. If you still don't know who he is, you might not like him. Murphy law states that whatever that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time.
In that plan you should have concrete steps and flexibility mixed into it. Remember those that survives the tide of time are often those that are flexible to change.
The last step is basically taking any failure as feedback and keep on working till you succeed.
Any setbacks or minor failures can be demoralising, but remember to keep at it. I don't want you to psyche yourself up or repeat some self affirmation that you can do it. Only you yourself know that deep inside only you can help yourself get back up again. Try to realise the true reason you even began to want to achieve your goal.
OK, so you got this far but from my personal experience I realised that its always easier to replicate success if you have a role model to look up to or mimic. Since we were young or kids we mimicked adults to learn how to behave socially or act in situations. So try to look up or mimic those who are already successful in the particular field or goal you are seeking after.
In closing, remember success is not determined by the amount of failure or setbacks but how you bounce back from the lowest point of your life time and time again without losing enthusiasm.
If you like to learn more about wealth creation or positive mind habits essential for success, visit
Thanks once again!
Hi, my name is Kai Jumat and I will like to personally thank you for investing your time reading this article. What you are about to learn are not rocket science nor things you already have not heard of!
In fact you have the personal power within you! I'm here to help you awaken that giant within you,I must have ran into her at least twenty times during my year-and-a- quarter of living here,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
So quickly I'm going to unravel the 4 basic steps to personal power.
This are very small concise baby steps. You may wonder why the magic number 4? Does it matter? The truth is the more concise the package is, the more detailed I get into and the more precise to the point which I am going to deliver are what really matter most.
First step: You need to know exactly what you want,or complete a final version of my chemistry paper. Some people often make the biggest mistake in their lives by working so hard in their lives and get so distracted by minor things in life that they often forget what they are fighting for or what benefits to be reap from all those hard work. If you are reading this, chances are you want to change your life for the better. You may have an idea of what kind of life you desire, but remember you have to be precise to the point! A million dollar plan is different from a mere $1000 a month plan. You know that! But why is it that most people still ignore the fact that they need to know what they want,workshops?
Most people get frustrated and shoot their anger at people around them, the very same people they worked hard to bring forth happiness for, and often at times they don't know what causes this frustrations. Scientist call it mid life crisis but you and me know that its can't be true as most young adults in their 20s are already pondering and wondering what they heck went wrong in their lives.
So yes you have to be specific in your goal setting! Best still, say it out loud so that you can hear it. Make sure your brain can hear it. When it sinks down subconciously, you have nailed it to your brain saying that you aren't satisfied with your current life and you want more out of yourself.
Second step you have to make, may seem a little obvious but alot of people stop here and in fact 99% of people fail to find happiness because they fail to go through this stage. It is called "Taking Massive Action!" You heard that right! Why is it that people procrastinate to start taking action. In their minds they conceived that beautiful car but what's bothering them is the fear of failure. It isn't so much of laziness or lack of desire that set most people to the path of inactivity, its fear of failure. What's troubling in this society is that people fear the thought of that failure rather than that failure. Might sound a little cliche, but there's truth in it. Almost a 100% of the time, most people that fail in and get back up don't feel any much fear as compared to those that don't take action. You may laugh saying what the risk of failure right? But that's how most people react. They don't do anything and that's complete failure.
Thirdly, you need a plan of actions. You can't possibly just go about doing things and hope it will be alright. Hell yea! Pardon the language. Let me assure you when things seemed smooth sailing Murphy will come down looking for you. If you still don't know who he is, you might not like him. Murphy law states that whatever that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time.
In that plan you should have concrete steps and flexibility mixed into it. Remember those that survives the tide of time are often those that are flexible to change.
The last step is basically taking any failure as feedback and keep on working till you succeed.
Any setbacks or minor failures can be demoralising, but remember to keep at it. I don't want you to psyche yourself up or repeat some self affirmation that you can do it. Only you yourself know that deep inside only you can help yourself get back up again. Try to realise the true reason you even began to want to achieve your goal.
OK, so you got this far but from my personal experience I realised that its always easier to replicate success if you have a role model to look up to or mimic. Since we were young or kids we mimicked adults to learn how to behave socially or act in situations. So try to look up or mimic those who are already successful in the particular field or goal you are seeking after.
In closing, remember success is not determined by the amount of failure or setbacks but how you bounce back from the lowest point of your life time and time again without losing enthusiasm.
If you like to learn more about wealth creation or positive mind habits essential for success, visit
Thanks once again!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
works for me if it's easy to listen to.
Conquer That Flying Fear by Mitch Hampson
Do you have a fear of flying, I know I do, I believe the correct term for it is aviaphobia, but it's something I guess we just have to deal with as I travel a lot and live on an island, the UK that is, I cannot go anywhere if I don't decide to fly. The way to go is to try and develop some form of coping mechanism once in place it does make it a lot easier to fly,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. I must admit I cannot understand how those large passenger planes can fly anyway,this is clearly nonsense, let's face it they are massive and almost defy nature, sorry but never have been much of a scientist or even an engineer so cannot quite get my head round it all.
I suppose though that the bigger the plane, like the ones with two decks do alleviate my fear a little as I start to feel as if I am not on a plane at all. Keep me away from those little planes any day. The worst bit of flying I find is actually the taking off, that horrible funny feeling in my stomach as we head for the skies, just hate it. So as the years passed my anxiety was just getting worse and worse, I knew I had to do something about it, I have now found that distraction is a good ploy, as I love to read this would be ideal, I found that it must be a certain type of book, a mystery or thriller would never do, I needed something not to serious so I decided on reading those dummy books, you know the ones things like Computers for dummies etc, these really take my mind off what's going on around me, and I am educating myself at the same time, a double whammy. This works for me and I am sure something similar could work for you also.
I must admit though that a couple of stiff alcoholic drinks on the journey also help quite a bit as long as it's only a couple. The best way is to mix up these strategies a little, another good choice is to watch the in-flight movies as they are often the latest releases and can really keep your mind of other things,we must act quickly to correct any negative effects our behavior has caused., as long as it isn't a disaster movie you should be OK. I also like to listen to music, once again not just any music, heavy rock wouldn't quite work for me, just something easy, like maybe the latest pop chart music, boy bands or girl bands often do the job, if you like that sort of thing that is, works for me if it's easy to listen to.
I know that lot's of people have more severe anxiety to deal with than me and really should seek professional help. I am led to believe that there are many people getting help via hypnotherapy for their flying fear and the big airlines actually run courses for this phobia, they also have been very successful and it is certainly something to think about. So why not give some of these ideas a try,by Amy Twain, I am sure that one of them will be of help to you. Happy flying.
Do you have a fear of flying, I know I do, I believe the correct term for it is aviaphobia, but it's something I guess we just have to deal with as I travel a lot and live on an island, the UK that is, I cannot go anywhere if I don't decide to fly. The way to go is to try and develop some form of coping mechanism once in place it does make it a lot easier to fly,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. I must admit I cannot understand how those large passenger planes can fly anyway,this is clearly nonsense, let's face it they are massive and almost defy nature, sorry but never have been much of a scientist or even an engineer so cannot quite get my head round it all.
I suppose though that the bigger the plane, like the ones with two decks do alleviate my fear a little as I start to feel as if I am not on a plane at all. Keep me away from those little planes any day. The worst bit of flying I find is actually the taking off, that horrible funny feeling in my stomach as we head for the skies, just hate it. So as the years passed my anxiety was just getting worse and worse, I knew I had to do something about it, I have now found that distraction is a good ploy, as I love to read this would be ideal, I found that it must be a certain type of book, a mystery or thriller would never do, I needed something not to serious so I decided on reading those dummy books, you know the ones things like Computers for dummies etc, these really take my mind off what's going on around me, and I am educating myself at the same time, a double whammy. This works for me and I am sure something similar could work for you also.
I must admit though that a couple of stiff alcoholic drinks on the journey also help quite a bit as long as it's only a couple. The best way is to mix up these strategies a little, another good choice is to watch the in-flight movies as they are often the latest releases and can really keep your mind of other things,we must act quickly to correct any negative effects our behavior has caused., as long as it isn't a disaster movie you should be OK. I also like to listen to music, once again not just any music, heavy rock wouldn't quite work for me, just something easy, like maybe the latest pop chart music, boy bands or girl bands often do the job, if you like that sort of thing that is, works for me if it's easy to listen to.
I know that lot's of people have more severe anxiety to deal with than me and really should seek professional help. I am led to believe that there are many people getting help via hypnotherapy for their flying fear and the big airlines actually run courses for this phobia, they also have been very successful and it is certainly something to think about. So why not give some of these ideas a try,by Amy Twain, I am sure that one of them will be of help to you. Happy flying.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
NLP in Hertfordshire is run by an NLP Master practitioner and Trainer
Get A Better Strategy by Gemma Bailey
If you took time to reflect on all the things that you do during an average day, you are likely to come up with a least of typical activities in a typical order, such as getting up from bed, having a shower,when we wake up in the morning, eating breakfast, travelling to work and so on,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. If now, you focused on just one of these activities, say getting up out of bed and thought about all the components of doing that are involved in this one habitual act, you would find that it could be broken down into much smaller components. For example, hearing your alarm clock, recognising that this sound means its time to get up or perhaps you usually press the snooze button for more sleep. The next step may involve rolling over in bed, sitting on the edge of the bed and then standing and so on. Again these components can be broken down further, for example, rolling over in bed involves a complex range of movement and continuous sensory and motor feedback between the central nervous system and body.
Once you divide activities into component parts it becomes clear that every day we do a whole range of things and for each and everyone we have a strategy for how to do it. A strategy is a sequence of modalities and sub modalities and is often likened to a recipe for baking a cake. In order to model a strategy you would need the ingredients (modalities), the amounts and quality of each ingredient (sub-modalities) and the sequence of steps to take.
In NLP,and guess what, understanding about strategies are important because although many of our strategies that we develop during growing up achieve the desired goal, some are no longer as effective as they could be,do not communicate very well. NLP can teach people how to modify old strategies or even install new strategies to in order to achieve desired results. This means it is even possible to elicit strategies from others, say someone who is particularly good at a specific activity such as golf and install this strategy in someone wishing to be just as good at golf. Being aware of strategies is very useful in all sorts of areas, for example, salesman can make use of peoples buying strategies and teachers and managers would find learning and motivation strategies useful.
NLP in Hertfordshire is run by an NLP Master practitioner and Trainer, who has helped many people create new empowering strategies for better results in their lives.
If you took time to reflect on all the things that you do during an average day, you are likely to come up with a least of typical activities in a typical order, such as getting up from bed, having a shower,when we wake up in the morning, eating breakfast, travelling to work and so on,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. If now, you focused on just one of these activities, say getting up out of bed and thought about all the components of doing that are involved in this one habitual act, you would find that it could be broken down into much smaller components. For example, hearing your alarm clock, recognising that this sound means its time to get up or perhaps you usually press the snooze button for more sleep. The next step may involve rolling over in bed, sitting on the edge of the bed and then standing and so on. Again these components can be broken down further, for example, rolling over in bed involves a complex range of movement and continuous sensory and motor feedback between the central nervous system and body.
Once you divide activities into component parts it becomes clear that every day we do a whole range of things and for each and everyone we have a strategy for how to do it. A strategy is a sequence of modalities and sub modalities and is often likened to a recipe for baking a cake. In order to model a strategy you would need the ingredients (modalities), the amounts and quality of each ingredient (sub-modalities) and the sequence of steps to take.
In NLP,and guess what, understanding about strategies are important because although many of our strategies that we develop during growing up achieve the desired goal, some are no longer as effective as they could be,do not communicate very well. NLP can teach people how to modify old strategies or even install new strategies to in order to achieve desired results. This means it is even possible to elicit strategies from others, say someone who is particularly good at a specific activity such as golf and install this strategy in someone wishing to be just as good at golf. Being aware of strategies is very useful in all sorts of areas, for example, salesman can make use of peoples buying strategies and teachers and managers would find learning and motivation strategies useful.
NLP in Hertfordshire is run by an NLP Master practitioner and Trainer, who has helped many people create new empowering strategies for better results in their lives.
Friday, November 2, 2012
a familiar soul
Finding Meaning in the New Year
As the year comes to an end I think of all of the blessings in my life and all that I am grateful for. It's been a good year and I have a lot to be thankful for. I am not concerned with what didn't work or what I could have done better. There is always going to be something. For many the holidays are a stressful time,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. It's also a time for giving and receiving.
In our family when we are feeling creative we sometimes make gifts for each other. I do have to admit that the sometimes are fewer. My family now gets excited about shopping and finding presents for each other and usually these gifts are clothes. For me once I find something that I like I wear it forever. But the rest of the family likes to keep up with the latest trends. It's like a sport to them but for me it's almost a chore as I very rarely find anything that fits well.
A few weeks ago my wife, Annie, received a 30% discount coupon for the GAP that had to be used within a few days. As we were driving to the store all I could think about was how many clothes I would have to try on before finding something that looked half way decent,Keep your mind focused on where you want to go and how you want to live. As I was trying on clothes I felt the frustration building. I just wanted to be done with it.
After paying for my purchase I was ready to go home but Annie had other plans. She was going upstairs to the women's section and promised me that she would only be a few minutes. While waiting I became engaged in a conversation with Marianne, a familiar soul, who was also waiting.
Perhaps my inexperience as a shopper was apparent. I wasn't prepared for her first question. She asked me how I did and I replied "I guess all right." It was the next bit of dialogue that was totally surprising. She agreed with me when I told her that men thought shopping for women was like a sport. She then said that "in the morning women huddle with each other and share ideas and set their intention. To have a successful and fulfilling day you need to be task oriented, focused and motivated."
I thought about what Marianne said and realized that those principles could apply to just about anything in our lives. What if we expanded upon her message and made that a focus this new year for finding more meaning and fulfillment in our lives.
When I think of focus I think of my daughter Savanna when she dances. Her grace and her elegance are immersed with her total at oneness. There is nothing else but the dance and yet at the same time there is everything. The rest of the world can wait.
For some period of time we can be totally focused on the task at hand. But at some point a new thought enters our mind and we begin to lose our focus. This gets in the way of our being in the now and of our enjoying the moment. We lose our ability to go deeper and that's where the real magic occurs.
What did Marianne really mean by motivation? I like to think of motivation in the same way I think of inspiration. When I feel I have purpose and meaning in my life and I'm living my life consistent with my highest values and priorities I feel inspired. When I'm inspired I'm excited about getting up in the morning and starting my day,Hypnosis CD's.
Perhaps Marianne's concept of the huddle is the key to it all. Doing it alone doesn't work anymore. As she said in the morning the women get together and share ideas and talk story. As we huddle and share with each other what matters, we realize that at our core we have the same longings and desires. We have the same need to be loved and respected. The huddle represents our coming together and working toward a world that works for everyone. It is our recognition that we are all in it together.
As the new year begins the days become longer. With each new day there will be more light in our life. When our kids were younger our family had a ritual bringing in the new year,and get yourself an education today. We went around in a circle and expressed gratitude for all of the blessings in our lives. And then we shared what our deepest desires were for the new year. For me it is peace in the world and this peace begins within each of us. Become an emissary of peace by sharing your deepest longing for peace in your life and in the world with those in your circle. The internet has become a great resource for connecting with others around the world. Last month people from 85 countries visited Inspire Possibility. Thank you for expanding the circle.
Journey On
Mark
(415) 453-5016
As the year comes to an end I think of all of the blessings in my life and all that I am grateful for. It's been a good year and I have a lot to be thankful for. I am not concerned with what didn't work or what I could have done better. There is always going to be something. For many the holidays are a stressful time,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. It's also a time for giving and receiving.
In our family when we are feeling creative we sometimes make gifts for each other. I do have to admit that the sometimes are fewer. My family now gets excited about shopping and finding presents for each other and usually these gifts are clothes. For me once I find something that I like I wear it forever. But the rest of the family likes to keep up with the latest trends. It's like a sport to them but for me it's almost a chore as I very rarely find anything that fits well.
A few weeks ago my wife, Annie, received a 30% discount coupon for the GAP that had to be used within a few days. As we were driving to the store all I could think about was how many clothes I would have to try on before finding something that looked half way decent,Keep your mind focused on where you want to go and how you want to live. As I was trying on clothes I felt the frustration building. I just wanted to be done with it.
After paying for my purchase I was ready to go home but Annie had other plans. She was going upstairs to the women's section and promised me that she would only be a few minutes. While waiting I became engaged in a conversation with Marianne, a familiar soul, who was also waiting.
Perhaps my inexperience as a shopper was apparent. I wasn't prepared for her first question. She asked me how I did and I replied "I guess all right." It was the next bit of dialogue that was totally surprising. She agreed with me when I told her that men thought shopping for women was like a sport. She then said that "in the morning women huddle with each other and share ideas and set their intention. To have a successful and fulfilling day you need to be task oriented, focused and motivated."
I thought about what Marianne said and realized that those principles could apply to just about anything in our lives. What if we expanded upon her message and made that a focus this new year for finding more meaning and fulfillment in our lives.
When I think of focus I think of my daughter Savanna when she dances. Her grace and her elegance are immersed with her total at oneness. There is nothing else but the dance and yet at the same time there is everything. The rest of the world can wait.
For some period of time we can be totally focused on the task at hand. But at some point a new thought enters our mind and we begin to lose our focus. This gets in the way of our being in the now and of our enjoying the moment. We lose our ability to go deeper and that's where the real magic occurs.
What did Marianne really mean by motivation? I like to think of motivation in the same way I think of inspiration. When I feel I have purpose and meaning in my life and I'm living my life consistent with my highest values and priorities I feel inspired. When I'm inspired I'm excited about getting up in the morning and starting my day,Hypnosis CD's.
Perhaps Marianne's concept of the huddle is the key to it all. Doing it alone doesn't work anymore. As she said in the morning the women get together and share ideas and talk story. As we huddle and share with each other what matters, we realize that at our core we have the same longings and desires. We have the same need to be loved and respected. The huddle represents our coming together and working toward a world that works for everyone. It is our recognition that we are all in it together.
As the new year begins the days become longer. With each new day there will be more light in our life. When our kids were younger our family had a ritual bringing in the new year,and get yourself an education today. We went around in a circle and expressed gratitude for all of the blessings in our lives. And then we shared what our deepest desires were for the new year. For me it is peace in the world and this peace begins within each of us. Become an emissary of peace by sharing your deepest longing for peace in your life and in the world with those in your circle. The internet has become a great resource for connecting with others around the world. Last month people from 85 countries visited Inspire Possibility. Thank you for expanding the circle.
Journey On
Mark
(415) 453-5016
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